I sit at almost the end of this day and take a moment to reflect. I was listening to someone talk yesterday and I know we really do not really really know many people that well. Someone recently told me about the "I'm good" mask. Why do we feel as though we have to be something and live this life that is so far from the truth. My son ask me all the time, why dad? Like when my uncle bought him something for Christmas that he didn't like and he told him that he didn't like it and my mom was like that is not nice. Kaleb was like why is it not nice to tell the truth. Why when people ask you how you are doing do you always say I'm good. not everyone is good. Try this, the next time someone ask you after you say fine, say anything back at them besides how are you? as a matter of fact you don't have to say anything. 9 times out of 10 they will reply i'm good. they are so use to saying it, I am like do you really believe that. what if we got real. what would happen? I see in my own life a line or a ledge that I steer clear because of the past. A friend of mine recently posted that anticipation only leads to disappointment. I remember another friend of mine lived by the saying expect the worst. Why do I let the past circumstances dictate my level of faith. I recently read about the "Caleb attitude" and how when Caleb said, "We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it." - why did so many people after all they had seen still live in fear. why could they not believe. If faith is the antidote to fear and doubt. If "Faith is what allows us to declare in confidence that God is with us no matter what happens." Then where does my effort end and His begin. This is just an assumption I made yesterday. I've had conversations that many people who profess to not believe in God seem happier than those who do. I am convinced that they realize that there are just some things they know they can't control and they don't waste their time and energy trying to work the outcome to every single detail of their life. In a sense they have surrendered or given up as well. Draw your own conclusions, just something that was on my mind. Some days I read these things and I don't make the time to sit down and just let anything come out. so that is all this is, just what is on my mind. I listened to my son talk about faith and the belief that something can happen. I believe faith cannot stretch it's limits without belief and hope. As I just sit and think about life. My grandfather who never really talked about his faith, he worked hard all his life, in his later years he worked 12-16 hour days. Never complained. Always happy. Always sharing a story or a laugh, or talking or listening. That is right there for all of us. In our own efforts though I just do not know if it ever comes to pass. I've come to the point that I realize anyways, my way leaves me with a lot more weight than relief. If only I could step out and let something be done about it. If I spend less time wondering about the how that mountain is going to be moved, and more time knowing that it will be moved, and less time wondering about where is the promised land and more time spending energy to move my feet in the direction it is. What if I learned lessons, not to say I am smarter I am not going to do that again, but because God saved me and I do not even have to think about it again. No one ever had to tell me not to touch the heater the first time I got burned. What makes me think what I do now will yield any other result than a burned hand if I try to do it my way. I don't know. I told someone last night, I seem to get more questions, but what if instead of I don't know, it just became I don't care. My grandfather used to say 100 years from now you'll never remember what you are fussing about. Truthfully, i'd wager a couple of weeks from now most of us want remember what we were fussing about today. So why let it, take anything at all anyways. Life is becoming to me more of a result than an action. What do I want the result to be? Something speaks from this verse. According to your faith will it be done to you. Matthew 9:29
Taken from "On the High Road to Surrender"
To bemoan the tasteless bread of the divine discipline and harbor a hidden hunger for the exotic diet of the world as the children of Israel loathed the manna us to resist the liberating power of the Holy Spirit at work in your own soul. Every challenge and every choice moves you either backward to the bondage of Egypt or forward to the full blessing of the promised land.
An entire generation perished in the wilderness because of indecision, for though they were bodily freed, they never wakened to their spiritual liberty, of whom it is written that they grieved the Spirit of God for forty years and died in the wilderness, never having received the promise.
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