Feelings: This has been on my mind for several weeks. Others perspectives always give me something to think about and in turn something for God to teach me. With a lot going on in my life right now this has been on my mind as to whether or not love is both a choice and a feeling. This is just my perspective based off of what I have seen in my own life the last year dating and the lives of my single friends, coupled with the relationship we want to have with God and what I take away from His word and messages on the subject as it applies to us as humans and our relationships, of all nature, not just marital. I often hear others talk about that feeling of being in love and I do not disagree that there is a feeling. I wondered if love is both a feeling and a choice why I never got all tingly inside when I had to change a diaper at 3 in the morning. Of course maybe love of a child is different than love of a significant other or God. Are there different kinds of love for different people. I know we aren't capable to love others as God loves us. I know can only love because He first loved us. I also know love we have for those closest is not the same as love for friends or co workers and that it is impossible for us to love every person on the earth as God does. But think about when someone in particular is laid on your heart at a certain time of the day and you know they are going through something. Why do you suppose we think of them at that particular time. So while school is still out about whether love is a feeling or not, I do wonder if the magic of romance and feelings causes us to miss out on a lot. I have watched a romantic comedy and I know our daughters grow up with Disney fairy tales and I do not say that to say anything other than to say where do we learn to love.Where are we given the capacity to love. I once heard a message about soul mates and destiny and it begs me to wonder about the what if point the message brought out... much was made about going down the what if road. What if there is one person out there for me and I missed them, or what if they married someone else. If that is the case then that means there is a bunch of kids out there that aren't supposed to be here. The more I think about the what if the more sense it makes to me that God doesn't care who we marry. Someone once told me He puts people in your life and gives you the choice. What He cares most about is your choice to love them unconditionally and to do things in the boundaries of His way. is that a choice or a feeling. Many people wonder about the stress of their relationship but are practicing premarital relations. Is it impossible to do it Gods way? Everyone sees things through their own eyes and maybe they see things differently later. maybe they realize there way was wrong and seek forgiveness. My point is not to condemn you if you live with someone but to say look and ask the question, do you like the results you are receiving? Looking at things it just makes more sense to me that God is watching motives and actions. Most people believe strongly at some point that the grass is always greener is not the case. That when you look at your grass through someone else's lawn your grass looks green too. I say this primarily for me who has gotten way to caught up in the when someone comes along that seems to be perfect. If I think they are and they think they aren't, what does that say. Shouldn't they be convinced that they are wrong. (not literally of course). Love should always choose to let someone walk away. It should never make someone a choice only an option. Love should be freeing not binding. I have met people who one day said God told them I was the one and the next that He said I wasn't. Maybe God did. I know most of the case for me has been some I choose and some I didn't. It was always just a choice. And it just happened. I have also met people who told me that they believed you meet someone and choose whether or not you want to put up with their baggage. I do not know exactly where I am going with this except to say, a feeling can disappear. I believe two people who are married 50 years lost that "in love" feeling along time ago. I believe that depth and strength of love comes through day in and day out choice. Why if so many people love each other is their divorce. Or does God care more about you sticking it out and choosing to love that person no matter what and glorify HIM with your marriage than HE does anything else. And I use just this example, but think about it, when we look at the car we drive or the house we live in, or the job we have. Does God really care. I do not judge you if you prayed for the type of car, but I just say think about it maybe God cares more about you just driving a car you can afford so that you have time for Him and others. So the next time I look at someone in a Mercedes where is my heart. And you have to think about the fact they didn't have any of these things 1000 years ago. People are motivated by different things than God is motivated by. What if God just cares about your choice in what you choose to drive or where you choose to live that in what you do, you just do it with a grateful attitude and with love towards others. When we read about love and it says love is patient and love is kind and love endures. Well actually God is love. So, God is patient, God is kind, God endures forever. Most of this is probably meant for me to hear. I once heard that if we'd just follow the advice we give. I just thought about how much easier it is to believe that there is not this perfect person or perfect way, but that God can be glorified through who you choose to marry or what you choose to drive or where you choose to live. The dot theory that I am going to have to be at the perfect place and do everything at the perfect time in the perfect way is bologna. It makes for a good movie script and entertainment, but....We make things what they are by our choices. When we work at our marriage instead of cheating. When we court instead of living together. When we choose to love someone for who they are not because of what they are. When we choose to work hard at the job we have instead of quitting and thinking there is something better. When we choose to me seems the underlying theme of my decision. Not when I feel. I think feelings are associated with needs. If you believe God meets your needs then would that feeling be an emotional experience or up and down roller coaster or a leveled peace and joy that requires no energy on my part to muster up but is a gift and result of His mercy, grace and most of all love. I think our human ability to love others is always imperfect however we should rest assure that Gods ability to love is always perfect.
taken from "On the High Road to Surrender"
When rightly related to Me, joys are stabilized by the constancy of My love. The happiness thereby identified with Me as its source ceases to be destroyed by insecurity. When you are able to receive and fully accept all good in this way, you honor Me as truly as when you are patient in adversity.
Open your heart wide to life. The good I will bless yet more, and the rest I will transform. Restraint binds, and pessimism poisons even that which would otherwise be sweet.
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